Conversates, grudgeges, the soon future and other boob-tube booboos by Nestor U. Torre

Host: WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO MAKE sure that a marriage will last for a long time?
Guest: Above all, don't hold any grudgeges.
(--That's a lot of grudges!)
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Host: We keep getting different reports, so what's the real score? Are you and your girlfriend getting married this year, or not?
Guest: Yes -- probably -- siguro.
(Hey, that's really definite!)
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Host: How can you tell if the president is getting angry?
Gust: By the way she that conversates, you actually know that she is angry.
(Conversates? Congratulations, you've just coined a new word.)

Famous Father

Host: What don't we know about your father? For example, for the viewers' benefit, ano'ng favorite food ni Dad?
(Why would knowing that be of "benefit" to us?)
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Host: Bakit golf ang napiling sport ni Presidented -- bakit hindi basketball?
(Obvious ba?)
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Film awards presenter: The Best Supporting Actress goes to is -- (name of actress)!
(No comment!)
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Host: Is it true that there are more overweight people now?
Guest: Yes, unfortunately, ang mga obesity natin dumadami.
(No comment na naman...)
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Host: What is the objective of your rally?
Guest: From experience, we know that the only way to get action from our officials is if they are pushed into the wall.
(Huwag naman, baka mapisa ang official.)
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Host: Bakit hindi pumasok si (name of TV colleague)?
Cohost: Namamaga daw ang ngipin.
(Ouch!)
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Difference

Host: What is the difference between the palikero and the babaero?
Guest: It's because of gender, e --pag palikero, lalaki; pagbabaero, babae.
(--Huh?)
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Host: Why are you mounting your campaign against teen gangs in your neighborhood?
Guest: Because they're dangerous.
Host: Why are they dangerous?
Guest: Because they have arms!
(No comment pa rin!)
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Host: When will you announce your decision to run for senator?
Guest: Hopefully, in the soon future.
(Don't run for senator -- please!)